Today, Chuck goes to the Subway at 71st & Michigan
Subway clerk: Okay what’ll it be, buddy?
Chuck: That Black Forest Ham’s got a lotta depth. It’s a complete sandwich. REAL HIGH MOTOR TOO. It just makes plays. You can count on the Black Forest Ham.
Subway clerk: Sooooo — a Black Forest Ham sub? On what type of bread?
Chuck: That Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, though — I tell you what…that sonofagun’s built low to the ground. A real monster. A MONSTER MADE OUT OF DELICIOUS ANVILS AND TUG BOATS. That thing’s a meal-wrecker.
Subway clerk: Alright, one Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. I’ll just put it on Ital—
Chuck: But at the end of the day, the Subway Club is the glue holding this franchise together. A REAL SUB’S SUB. That thing gets it, man. It just gets it. Yeah — the Subway Club’s got circumstances, we know that. But you know what else? WE ALL GOT CIRCUMSTANCES. It just punches in and gets to work. Nothin’ fancy. Nothin’ that’ll be on the Cooking Channel. It just quietly goes about its business. Lotta respect for the Subway Club.
Subway clerk: Please leave.