Off Base: Cleavage, dentures and theft

Cleavage has been put in checkmate. The European Chess Union

recently implemented a rule for women and their barely there tops at the

European Women's Championship. No more than two buttons can be undone, and

skirts cannot be more that 3.9 inches above the knees.

4. Pearly (fake)

whites

In last week's "Off Base" I mentioned there were bound to be

unforgettable March Madness moments. I was referring to the grit-your-teeth intense play on

the court. Didn't think the talk of the

tournament would be about the "March Madness Dentures Guy."

3. Superstar airballs

Blake Griffin jumps over cars and really, really tall people.

Blake Griffin is arguably the best athlete in the NBA. Blake Griffin didn't even

hit the rim on back-to-back free throws. Oh, the humanity.

2. Thoughts and prayers

At times we're reminded that sports is not life and death. A

23-year-old professional footballer suddenly collapsed mid-match last Saturday.

Fabrice Muamba was taken to the

hospital and the latest update is that he's in critical condition.

1. Superfan swipes cell

Ashley Judd is an

accomplished actress and Kentucky Wildcats' basketball fanatic. With her

celebrity status, she's able to gain post-game access to the locker room.

Usually her visits involve high-fives and smiles. This visit was involved thievery

of 6'9" sophomore Terrence Jone's cell phone. Judd accidentally picked up the

player's phone and left town. She felt so bad about it she immediately returned

it along with a handwritten note.