Improve your sex life by getting that burning question answered by one of the world's foremost experts on sex, Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Kinsey Institute. Submit anonymously here!Ever since I got my tubes tied I barely have a sex drive. I don't know if it has something to do with my relationship with my husband is drifting away due to him still having his ex involved with his life everyday all day long but he's says its not like I think.
Sarah: I’ll defer to the good doctor vis-a-vis the medical impact of surgical sterilization. But yeah, I’m sure having some sort of romantic remnant of the past always popping up in your present is a boner killer like no other. This is a really boring answer, I know, but you have to just have a conversation about it. Also, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that usually your instincts are correct—you’ve named a lot of top candidates for killing your sex drive, so just sort through them until you figure it out.
Debby: If your husband’s ex is involved in his everyday life “all day long” and you are bothered by that (as many people would be), then yeah - that could certainly impact your sex drive. Having your tubes tied doesn’t necessarily lower your libido unless, let’s say, you or your husband are dealing with some level of sadness or grief over making the decision not to have any more pregnancies. If it’s helpful, you might consider meeting with a therapist (apa.org) or sex therapist (sstarnet.org or aasect.org) to talk things through.