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Improve your sex life by getting that burning question answered by one of the world's foremost experts on sex, Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Kinsey Institute. Submit anonymously here!

I'm a teenage girl and have been faking orgasms for about two months of my relationship with someone I'm in love with. I'd never orgasmed before at all so I didn't think my faking it was a big deal - I figured if I couldn't make it happen myself she wouldn't be able to but last week it happened during masturbation. I w

ant to tell my girlfriend that I've been faking it but I don't know how to do that without hurting her, and I feel horrible for letting it continue on for this long. What do I do?!

Sarah: Good news: you’re young enough to plead ignorance here and get off by telling the (mostly) truth: that you just discovered a new and better what to have an orgasm that you just didn’t know about before. That refocuses the goal to getting to this new place together. And knock it off with the orgasm faking! Just enjoy them as they, er, come and enjoy the bliss that is increased orgasms with increased intimacy.

Debby: Two months is better than two years! I know, it sucks that you faked, but you’re young and you’re new to sex and you are totally in love with this other girl, so it’s understandable. Does she know you’re in love with her? And how much you’re into her and likely want to please her? Show her this article and see if she can empathize with you and understand where you’re coming from. If you cannot bring yourself to admit that you lied to her and have been faking this whole time, maybe you could say something like you found a new way to orgasm that’s even more intense than what you’ve been doing thus far, but you only recently discovered it during masturbation and it make take some time and practice to do together. I suppose that’s another option. Going forward, try to just be honest with her. Orgasms don’t happen every single time people have sex (generally speaking) nor do they have to. Try to focus on each other’s pleasure and enjoyment, orgasm or not. 

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