I’m into Wet and Messy play and it’s something that, for obvious reasons, can make it awkward to talk about my sex life with new partners. Most women are turned off by it and it ends the relationship. Would it be better to keep this part of my sexuality to myself or find some new way of meeting partners who might be more willing to try it?
— Anonymous, from Tumblr
Sarah: A little background for the uninitiated: WaM is a fetish that involves, usually, smearing food all over the body, generally getting, well, wet and messy. Not only does it seem to involve quite a bit of pre-planning and cleanup, but it’s a little farther out there on the fetish scale. I would go straight to those crystal-clear headwaters and set yourself up with some kind of fetish website dating profile. At the very least, set up a Tumblr or similar blog where you can connect with like-minded folks. Maybe there will be a forever person waiting for you with three tubs of cake they just can’t wait to roll around in.
Debby: By all means let your freak flag fly, as actually fewer and fewer people say these days… but it was once a saying, so don’t judge. If you’re super into wet and messy play, cool. But yeah - fewer people are into it, or would be into it, so you kind of have to have fair expectations for finding an interested partner. You’d also be wise to be up front about it among people who are likely to be open-minded about it. You might start attending munches or other gatherings of kinksters where you feel more comfortable talking about what you’re into and/or maybe set up a profile on a site like FetLife where you can connect with others with similar interests. Even if you don’t find a partner through one of these venues (though you very well might), you might become more comfortable talking about what kinds of sex play turn you on and eventually feel like you can share it more openly even on more vanilla dates. Many kinksters started out pretty vanilla until a partner turned them on to other possibilities. So while it wouldn’t be fair to assume you can turn someone on to wet and messy play, there may be a chance you will. Just don’t bet on it or shame someone for not being into what you’re into. Everyone has their limits and interests and not everyone will share yours, nor will you necessarily share theirs.