I want to ask a guy out that used to date a somewhat close friend of mine. I didn’t know her back when they were dating (2+ years ago), and all signs say it wasn’t a devastating breakup at all, but still… Am I doing anything wrong?
Sarah: Probably not, but you’re a stranger on the internet who gave me a handful of characters to work with, so here goes.
Sticky is the wicket that is dating friends’ exes, especially because your new friend probably isn’t going to spend a lot of time detailing her breakups to someone she recently met (and if you meet someone who does, RUN!). Now, this is where language becomes more important than in a blindfolded orgy: did she say they “dated” or were they “together.” I know it may not sound like much but if she says she was “with” him, you might be dealing with a bigger deal. If your friend just dated this dude as we all do when sorting the human pile of partners in our 20s, I’d say don’t sweat it at all. My personal philosophy is that people breakup for valid reasons, usually, and if they’re not together now, they probably won’t wake up one day and realize they’re meant to be — regardless of the length of the coupling.
If you’re still worried, the easiest way to cut through this social fog is to just ask your friend. Who knows? She might have some insider info of note that you might want to know. Better that than worry anymore over something that could be easily resolved with one conversation.