Sportsheets for Sportfucks

 

What are your best tips for road trip sex? Thoughts on road head? Best car sex positions?

— Anonymous, from Tumblr

Sarah: I have a strict opinion on this. If you are giving head that a man can maintain control of a moving vehicle during, I happen to think you’re doing it wrong. For that rule’s logical followthrough, I can’t recommend road head in good conscience. A pulled-safely-off-the-roadway quickie in a romantic soybean field? Sure, why not? As far as ease-of-sex goes, I’d say go with letting your partner ride you in the front or back seat, or backseat doggystyle. Happy trails!

Debby: I’m sorry to be a total killjoy here, but I know far too many stories of horrible, devastating accidents from road head to ever recommend it again. In all seriousness, really great sex-positive surgeons I know have told me of young, healthy teenagers and people in their 20s (usually women) who were disabled for anywhere from a year (thanks to a shattered pelvis) or life from giving road head, thanks to things like unbuckling their seatbelt to get better access to their male partner in the driver’s seat, him getting super excited/maybe close to orgasm and then driving off the road and hitting trees or worse, and her sometimes flying out through the windshield. See? I told you; total killjoy. But I would rather you live to create a lifetime of awesome sexual experiences, not to mention family and career adventures, than put yourself or your partner or other drivers at serious risk. Bottom line: if you are feeling frisky in the car, pull over, put the car in park (better yet: turn the car off), and have sex in a much safer way. You’ll be less likely to face legal troubles from the police if you’re in a secluded area and far more likely to face legal risks if you are anywhere near where kids could potentially see you; in other words, try to avoid parking near playgrounds or school parking lots. Some people climb into the backseat where they can more easily touch one another and have sex without dealing with the steering wheel or drive/park/neutral/reverse/gear controls (I’m sure there’s a name for that thing, but I’m an expert on sex, not cars, so there’s that too). Others find a super secluded area, like near woods and then park and get out and do it standing in the woods. To each their own, enjoy any summer road trips you may have planned and please stay safe!

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