Improve your sex life by getting that burning question answered by one of the world's foremost experts on sex, Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Kinsey Institute. Submit anonymously here!
If a guy had a one night stand with a friend of yours should he be automatically undateable?
Sarah: This is a fitting question to run on Halloween. If this were an SAT question, the answer would be “D: Not enough information to answer this question.” There are about a million variables to contend with, but overall, I would tell you to take the number of years ago it happened and subtract the degree of separation from this friend. Was it her best friend three weeks ago? You done fucked up and need to place that girl in the dateability contamination isolation zone. She’s on the no-touchy list for at least 2 more Gregorian years. Now, was it her sorority sister five years ago? All signs point to “Go for it!” As a rule though, just imagine this: the amount of trepidation you feel about telling her who this friend is or how long ago this happened should tell you everything you need to know about how dateable or undateable you are. If it’s something you feel compelled to lie about, you probably shouldn’t dip into the group honey pot quite yet. And take this experience as a lesson: you can shit where you eat and do a good job of cleaning it up, but the stink lingers, so squat with a little more due diligence next time.
Dr. Debby: Totally depends on the friend group. Many people are okay with a single, meaningless thing like that but not everyone is. Then again, friends can’t reserve everyone on the planet just by having sex with them once. You’ve got to have options!