Sportsheets for Sportfucks

 

Improve your sex life by getting that burning question answered by one of the world's foremost experts on sex, Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Kinsey Institute. Submit anonymously here!I want my boyfriend to use my sex toys on me in bed, but I don’t want him to think that I prefer the vibrator to his company. I’m just not sure how to have the conversation. Suggestions?

Sarah: I cannot let you miss this opportunity for the prank of a lifetime. Here’s what you’re going to do: borrow a full-body suit of impact pads from a football player friend, a dildo, and a Sawsall from a friend. Put the dildo on the end of the Sawsall. No need for a helmet, but definitely a mouthguard. Tell your boyfriend that you want him to use your favorite sex toy on you, then slip away to “get ready for bed.” Get suited up, hold the Fuxall in your dominant hand, put in your mouthguard, rev that sucker up and push the door open with a dainty bare foot, then smile through the rubber. Your boyfriend will be so terrified, when you finally recover from your laughter-induced heart attack, the idea of giving you a little vibrational buzz won’t seem intimidating at all. Or, you know, skip the pageantry and just say, “I want you to use my sex toys on me,” because only a fool would believe that a dildo compares to a living breathing human.

Dr. Debby: Tell him exactly what you told us! Most Americans have used a vibrator. Many people use them alone but many people (nearly half) use them with a partner, too. There’s nothing unusual about your request. You can say you think it would be fun or take the pressure off of him to give you an orgasm or would spice things up a little or whatever your inclination may be. Sex toys are a playful part of sex for many couples - and once you have the conversation, you will see that you can do it and be less fearful of having sex talks in the future. 

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