Sportsheets for Sportfucks

 

I want to try to recreate that kind of porn where everyone’s all oiled up, but I don’t want to make a mess in my house. Do I have to cover everything in plastic Dexter Morgan style? Any tips on how to do this without it being too messy?

— Anonymous, from Tumblr

Sarah: Real talk, The W Hotel will come dress your room in plastic and give you a tray of things to lick off each other’s bodies for a couple hundred bucks. They’ll also do the cleanup. No reason you can’t piggyback on this idea and grease each other up while you’re at it. This seems like the best possible option, but it’s expensive, so you could just take your oil party to the bathroom. If you have a private backyard, consider the humble tarp or large baby pool. You’ll be slip slidin’ away to Orgasm City in no time.

Dr. D: Oil can get very messy very quickly and can be difficult to get out of certain materials. It can make floors super slippery for days to come. So yeah - if you are concerned about mess, either cover things with plastic or do it in the shower or bath tub. Or you could rent a hotel room with a big jacuzzi or massive walk-in shower and clean up well afterwards (if you damage the room, they could charge your credit card for expenses, so do make sure to be tidy).

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