Sportsheets for Sportfucks

 

If I use any kind of produce as an improvised travel dildo, should I throw a condom on it to make it more sanitary?

— Anonymous, from Tumblr

Sarah: Why not just bring a dildo with you? Do you think the TSA hasn’t, by this point, seen every possible incarnation of insertables going through the baggage X-ray? Unless we’re talking about your desire for county-fair-winning produce, I don’t know why you wouldn’t just pack the dong of your liking in your luggage. Otherwise, condoms would not only be helpful in the cleanliness department, but also on the off chance you wanted to eat your fruit or veg, you could rest assured knowing there was no direct contact with your ham wallet.

Debby: Ideally, yes - especially if there is any possibility of it squishing, as with bananas. But if not, at least wash it before hand and you’re probably better off choosing produce without sharp edges. If the produce is going in your anus, choose one with a wide base and/or hold on to the end of the condom. In the vagina, you don’t have to worry about “losing” it but the rectum can be a little more expansive and windy, with some objects occasionally getting lost in there.

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