My gf likes for me to put my fingers in her ass but doesn’t want to try anal sex. Why is she into one and not the other?
— Anonymous, from Tumblr
Sarah: Probably because I bet your fingers aren’t as big as your dick, for starters. Anything beyond that isn’t really up for you to reason through for her, but you should definitely discuss it with her if it’s something you’re interested in. Maybe she’s worried that it’s going to hurt, or that it won’t be as pleasurable as vaginal sex. If she’s not interested, period, let it go, Louie. And if no booty play is a dealbreaker for you, you’re allowed to bail out and find someone who might match up better sexually for you.
Debby: Sarah hit the nail on the head here; fingers are pretty small and finger-anal play may be comfortable and pleasurable for her, or at least not hurt. So she’s not into anal sex… let it go! Whatever you do, don’t pressure her or make her feel badly for not liking one specific sex act out of many different possibilities.