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My girlfriend will not stop talking about how hot Ruby Rose is from Orange is the New Black. Should I be worried that she might be discovering a different side to her sexuality?

— Anonymous, from Tumblr

Sarah: No, but rest assured that her vision and hearing are 100% perfect. Ruby Rose’s extreme sexiness transcends any and all preconceptions of gender expression and sexuality, but getting her bonk on for the sexiest person in pop culture who happens to have a vagina won’t magically transform her into a lesbian. That said, I would forsake all lovers future and past to have her, and I’m really into dudes, generally. Sexy people are sexy. Our sexualities are what they are, individually. One doesn’t magically transform the other.

Debby: Absolutely not! It’s great to find people attractive. If she’s going to leave you for someone else, she will do so anyway, no matter what her sexuality is. She’s unlikely to leave you for a fictional character or a Hollywood actress. She may have someone new to fantasize about, which can make things fun. She may enjoy thinking about her sexuality in bigger ways than she has before. That’s cool, right? People grow, change, expand - try to connect with her on it and ask what she finds appealing or sexy and see how these conversations can help you two to become more intimate, rather than further apart.

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