UPDATE: Here's the COMPLETE list of entrants and their finishing positions — these are official results.

1:09 p.m.

The Mass Ave Crit is underway.

After a pair of appearances on WTHR 13, your Decrepit Aging Ed. helped move approximately 27 tons of tents, cinderblocks and bicycle fence (how appropriate!).

The Promo/Management/anyone who wanted a free T-Shirt group of volunteers somehow managed to set up a race course along Mass Ave, Vermont and East Street. Gratifying, if tiring. (Hulk move bleachers! Hulk sweat through shorts! Hulk feel gross!)

But on to matters at hand:

Jae Walters is the unofficial winner of the Men's Jr 9-14 run. (Unofficial, although the kid looked like the Roadrunner dashing ahead of one of Wile E. Coyote's malfunctioning trebuchets.)

The Women Cats 3/4/Beginner are underway as we scribble:

Women Cats 1/2 pick up the same prize money as the top dudes this year, $1,999. They'll run at 3:20, the Men 1/2 take the course at 7:40. There's a mascot race (!) that'll also include Mayor Greg Ballard and candidates Hogsett and Brewer this evening, too. 

We'll update as official results come in. Meanwhile, the beer tent is OPEN. I repeat, OPEN.

1:23 p.m.

Live stream! Live stream!

1:35

Results so far:

(NOTE: We've called Jae Walters both Jay and Joe this day. DAMN YOU, AUTOCORRECT!)

Junior M 9-14

1. Jae Walters

2. Will Johnson

3. Alex Ditchen

Junior W 9-14

1. Faith Montreuil

2. Eleanor Dyas

3. Amber Payne

Women 3/4

1. Tabitha Sherwood

2. Meagan Huibregtse

3. Diane Kaeser

1:42

BEER TENT STILL OPEN.

2:04

Result:

W 15-18 (Raced with W Cats 3/4)

1. Rosalyn Willey

(NOTE: Y'know, I could be WAY lazier about posting these results. You're welcome.)

2:26

HOLD EVERYTHING. This is the most important event of the day.

2:29

The Men Master Cats (40 and 50+) are on course now. GO, OLD DUDES!

2:59

More results — we're posting as they become official.

Junior M 15-18

1. Ruben Bacon

2. Jackson McNear

3. Edward Fritzinger

As the old dudes roll, the elite women are warming up in the Marian U. Cycling tent.

Roll, old dudes, roll. 

The Women's Cats 1/2/3 are underway. Again, top prize is the same as the fellas this year, $1,999. Hooray, gender equality!

Things are definitely getting quicker, and the elite riders are very evenly matched — this is all pack racing, strategizing and exhibiting more muscle tone than yours truly had on his best day in his late teens. Oh, and talent. Did I mention talent? I should mention talent.

Two things to note: these are timed races, up to a point: As the race closes in on its allotted time, then a "laps to go" counter" kicks in. Additionally, some laps have "primes" (pronounced "preems") which include prizes for the first to cross the finish line on the lead lap. The question: sprint for the cash or the merch OR save some in the tank for the win?

4:15

UNOFFICIAL TWEETED RESULTS:

We'll continue to update this story as winners come in.

OFFICIAL TWEETED RESULTS (Tweeted by us, that is):

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