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I’ve been in a long-term relationship with the girl I’m going to marry. While I’ve had a few relationships in the past, she has had only one other relationship before me, who also happened to be her only other sexual companion. My girlfriend is very vanilla in the bedroom, which is fine for me, but the issue is that currently the only way for her to have an orgasm is to grind (dry hump) on my boxer shorts until she climaxes. This obviously causes her a little bit of embarrassment, along with some heavy rug burn on both of our ends. My question for you: Is there any toy or something that may help with this?

Girlfriend Dryly Humping

Pot and sex toys — they might not help, but they couldn’t hurt.

I’m a woman with a small build who has never had children. During sex, my current partner frequently says, “Squeeze your pussy,” as in he expects me to do Kegel exercises during sex (and hold it), which I will not do because it’s not pleasurable for me to tense up like that during sex. He doesn’t have the biggest or the smallest dick I have ever had, and I have never had this comment before. I have actually been told many times how “good and tight” I feel. We both enjoy anal, so we tried that. Same request: “Squeeze.” I have no abnormalities. I’m not sure if there is a work-around for this, other than doing Kegels every minute of my life. Help!

Sex Partner’s Annoying Requests

You have two options: You can tell your current sex partner you aren’t going to “squeeze” his dick with your pussy or your ass, as the sensation isn’t pleasurable for you, or can you lie to him. Tell him you’re squeezing your pussy/ass — you’re squeezing so hard — without actually squeezing your pussy/ass. Odds are good he’ll notice a difference even if you’re not doing anything differently, SPAR, so great is the power of suggestion.

I had to write after reading your recent Savage Love Letter of the Day from a woman who spotted a friend’s husband on Tinder and didn’t know whether she should say something to her friend. My (single and Tindering) friend has been mistaken for his identical (married and non-Tindering) twin brother more than once on the app. They live in Seattle and Los Angeles, and so most people in their lives don’t realize they have a twin. My friend has freaked out his sister-in-law’s friends by popping up on their Tinder feed. It came out after the sister-in-law posted a photo of the twins together on social media and multiple people expressed extreme relief that her husband was not a cheater but an identical twin!

Deluded Acquaintances Needed Answers

Thanks for sharing, DANA!

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with the kinksters from the NoSafeWord podcast:

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