The View From the Couch: 16 Tons and What Do You Get? Twenty Nine Dead


Since I will be on vacation this coming week I am thinking

of more frivolous things: Birthers alert! I would

like to see LeBron James's birth certificate rather than President Obama's.

When LeBron was in high school he looked like he was in his 20s and, just

recently, another athlete was caught playing for yet another team after he

finished his career elsewhere. Now this goes back in American history a long

way. James T. Farrell wrote a short story including the well-known fact that

back in the 1930s Chicago area kids would go to multiple high schools to

continue their football careers. In fact, it's been alleged that Notre Dame's

famous Gipper was one of them. Men tended to look

older back in the 1930s, anyway, but when you see pictures of the Notre Dame

squads back then they all look like family men, guys almost thirty. The actual Birthers always seem to ignore the

birth announcement of the newborn Obama that appeared back in the day in a

Honolulu newspaper. That would have been hard to fake at the time. Some would

say impossible.

Levi Johnston and the Palin anti-pregnancy single mom

spokesperson, Bristol, are alleged to be tying the knot soon (though not in her

fallopian tubes or his vas deferens.) This has a sports connection, too,

because Tripp, the kid, the issue, from their earlier unprotected union, has

the middle name, supposedly, of some hockey supply company, a favorite of

Levi's. Perhaps another baby is on the way. Naming to the Palin clan seems

rather eccentric, in the same way the Ron Paul family demonstrates. Why would

Ron Paul name his son Rand? Well, one answer is all Ron's boys are named names

that begin with the letter R. Does the letter R hold special meaning for

Libertarians? Who knows? At least Ron didn't go so far as George Foreman, the

boxer and grill pitchman, who, I believe, named all his sons George. And now

that Rand Paul is running for the Senate in Kentucky, we all need to know. As

some sage said, nomenest omen.

And then there is Mel Gibson, who keeps giving Jesus a bad

name. Obviously, Gibson has a lot of contradictory impulses going on, none

seemingly in check. I do really like his performance in the 1997 movie

Conspiracy Theory, where he plays a lunatic, though one who parallels and

spouts all the lefty conspiracies afoot since the 60s, most of which history

has confirmed. Julia Roberts also does well in this film, looking very

sympathetic to Mel throughout.

And how about those Russian semi-spies?

There have been films of that sort, but usually the deep cover types are space

aliens or anarchists. Hollywood can't be far behind this dust up. Their

children, though, born here in the states (Birthers

take note) are probably worse off than Tripp Palin/Johnston, and Rand Paul, or

any of the Georges, whatever they are named.

And the BP integrity test goes on. Hope all that works. It's

odd, or maybe not, that BP wanted to free Libyan prisoners, including the

Lockerbie bomber, in order to cash in on lucrative oil deals. There's a word. Integrity.


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