International most of Europe goes to the Euro leaving Brits to finger their pounds Arafat, Sharon know: in the wild wild West Bank it"s always high noon Israel, slouching toward Bethlehem, scratches apocalypse itch Nativity a killing field; where are the wise men when you need them? the most compelling reason to attack Iraq is because it rhymes even Britain is against invasion leaving Bush out on a limb China doesn"t want its own to ogle Google giving it the gong business rival poisons patrons in China bull in a snack shop National if I nearly choked to death and my dogs did naught I"d get me new dogs Bush is traveling the USA hawking his enronergy plan Hoosier minister and family struck by tree in an act of odd soft money rivals McConnell and McCain might McChoke each other new Bush antidrug plan ignores most powerful drug of all: money Orrin Hatch blows his top because the Democrats won"t pick Pickering INS grants dead terrorists the right to fly in the afterlife Tom Ridge"s color- coded warning system was designed by Barney! cloned kitty Rainbow means we can have Rin Tin Tin all over again Bush signs campaign bill out of the spotlight to keep from raising McCain government is just a self-perpetuating cash-making machine babies who breastfeed turn out to have high IQs just like their mothers Bush is pilloried by press asking about the sale of Harken stock everyone is focused on Saddam because Osama bin lost Bush keeps his distance from the press corps; no one can even read his lips "I love all of you especially your wives," says Long Strom Thurmond airline shoebomber pleads guilty to pretending to be Maxwell Smart calling card left by East Coast sniper shows him to be a Tarot-ist one senator speaks out against Iraq attack flipping Bush the Byrd since folks can"t afford to send their kids to college how about Iraq? Bush"s terror bill will create the Mother of all Bureaucracies Environment energy task force is comprised of GOPs and their IOUs Bush White House would like the Endangered Species Act to become extinct if Bush can"t get oil out of Alaska then by god he"ll get timber George Bush plan to thin trees can"t see the forests for the logging profits Bush streamlines process by which he annihilates the environment with Bush against them climate talks turn to preferred best brand of sunblock Sports Tyson erupts in Cuban hotel; witnesses just cover their ears the Pacers" O"Neal appeared in all-star game in a non-germane way the Pacer playoff series with New Jersey ends up nothing but Nets the 20 pounds that Al Unser Jr. lost must have come from his brain financial scam for Sacramento forward means Webber may be grilled what no one seems to realize is "Irsay" is pig latin for "Sir" Business Arthur Andersen decides to switch business to making confetti the fact that Enron didn"t pay taxes makes me choke on a pretzel workers at Enron screwed, discovering themselves 401K-Oed on economic issues Dick has become George Bush"s ball & chain who would"ve thought that the business pages would read like a tabloid embroiled in divorce, Jack Welch reveals that G.E. stands for Gross Excess poverty rises in Land of Compassionate Conservatism no health insurance in Land of Compassionate Conservatism

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