[this is satire] U.S. determines not to throw the Baathwater out with the Saddam thanks to Iraq war economy grows; I know! let’s start some more wars! GI treatment of Iraqi captives would make Saddam Hussein proud Bush has helped create an endless supply of folks who hate the U.S. chicken hawks squawk, say Bush should have won a Purple Heart for hemorrhoids support for Bush falls it’s time to pull Osama out of his pocket Supreme Court hears case on Cheney duck hunting with energy bigwigs Ronald Reagan U. will offer a degree in Sleeping at the Wheel K-Mart and Martha Stewart reunite; will sell fancy license plates no matter what court he’s on Kobe knows how to put ball in the hole

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