[this is satire]

Iran endorses

Bush for pres in an act of

kissing his axis

capture of Hassan

in Baghdad shows how little

the terrorists care

U.S. doesn’t know

North Korea’s plans but they

could ask Matt & Trey

in the final days

the candidates battle to

capture redneck base

polls say that people

who don’t want to be polled don’t

answer the damn phone

the GOP in

Illinois leaves Alan Keyes

locked outside the door

insurance scandal

reminds us that there’s nothing

for sure in this world

SSI checks will

grow by 25 dollars!

gold rush for old farts

Lenny Kravitz is

sued for shitting all over

his downstairs neighbor

Courtney Love admits

guilt in attracting wussies

to see her concert

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