Investigation

alleges FEMA tried to

hide formaldehyde

body parts ring sting

finds corpses cut up and sold

o'er their dead bodies

while Haitians eat dirt

Americans can't even

join the Clean Plate Club

Army suicides

increase in tragic acts of

self-terrorism

Bush's plan to log

Alaskan forest has the

trees crying timber

scientists create

a no-tear onion then run

laughing to the bank

planet Mercury

shrinking and aging just like

our baby boomers

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