I have some comments regarding the recent “server confession” that was printed in your 2006 Dining Guide. I have been a waitress for seven years now, and have never felt demeaned. There have been two incidences where I have been spoken to in a demeaning manner by “well-to-do” women. I did not take on the demeaned role however.

I am aware of the hard and honest work that I do, and their words only showed their ignorance. I am also aware of the type of server that will shake it for a few extra bucks or who will “politely” accept a wandering hand. They are the ones who are demeaning themselves.

A server can choose what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. If they want to entertain the customer and not be “a whore” then they can choose to entertain with their wit not their body.

My biggest concern about this “confession” is that it appears to categorically state what it is like to be a server. I know that I am not alone in my approach and I want to give voice to the way the rest of us take care of business. There are no blurred lines between server and sex worker, just blurred lines of reality. My reality does not include being demeaned over nickels and dimes.

Dionne DeCosta

Indianapolis

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