Real calls to airline phone reservationists ring... "Yea, I wanna fly my Harley and my 12-year-old daughter to Phoenix. How about if she just sits on the Harley all the way; would you charge her for a seat?" "I"m sorry, sir, but FAA regulations require that all passengers be seated securely in the cabin of the plane in regulation airliner seats. Your motorcycle will not be allowed in the cabin of the plane. That would have to be shipped by air freight." "Well, then, how much for just me and the Harley?"
ring... "Yes, hello, my daughter is flying with her high school drill team for a competition in Washington, and we were wondering if you would have a gun rack on the plane near her seat for her rifle and sword?" ring... "Yes, we are on the plane now; waiting to take off from Los Angeles for New York with about an hour lay-over at Chicago Midway. The flight attendants informed us that there would be no meals served on this flight, so could you please arrange for us to have four meals delivered to us on the plane from a restaurant near Midway Airport? We would prefer Korean, but Thai will suffice." ring... "Yes, I understand that you charge $40 to have your pet travel with you in the cabin of the plane in a pet carrier container, is that correct?" "Yes, ma"am." "Well, my 3-year-old son is small enough to fit inside one of those. Can he also travel in there for the same price?" ring... "Hello. We are retired and we would like for you to check on air fares from Los Angeles to Honolulu. And could you also please check for us to see what Amtrak charges for the same round trip?" ring... "Oh, hello, isn"t this a beautiful day?" "Yes, ma"am. How can we help you?" "Well, you see, my sister and me and our church choir are all flying to Philadelphia to give a concert and we come to find out that the only time we can practice our gospel songs will be when we"re all together in the plane. Don"t you think everyone else will enjoy hearing our uplifting songs of praise?" "Well, ma"am, you would have to OK that with the pilot and flight crew. To be honest, I wouldn"t count on getting their permission to do that." "But what if we sang real, real good?" "Ma"am, that will be at the discretion of the flight crew." "And don"t you agree that we should be allowed to take up a praise offering from the other passengers to help defray from the expenses of our trip?"