NUVO Music is out for the holidays. Where are we? Cruising with R. Kelly. Okay, that was a bit misleading. I'm not actually cruising with R. Kelly, but you can. He'll be on the Love Letter Cruise, a private party featuring his first ever performance at sea. En route to the Bahamas and jamming to "Ignition (Remix)?" Sounds like a plan to me.
It's been a big week for R. Kelly, who announced just yesterday that he's written an additional 32 chapters to his magnum opus "Trapped in the Closet." He's currently searching for a financial backer, and then his glorious rhymes (including the absolutely astonishing cliffhanger ending to Chapter 9, "Now pause the movie cause what I'm about to say to y'all is so damn twisted/not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man is a midget! Midget! Midget! Midget!)" can be set free.