Speaking by satellite telephone from the tribal areas of western Pakistan today, an al Qaida spokesman confirmed that the terrorist organization hopes to enter a car in the 2003 NASCAR campaign.

"It would be a good way to get our message across," the spokesman stated. Osama bin Laden is reputed to be a big NASCAR fan, receiving broadcasts of races in his secret hideout via a satellite TV hookup. "It is true that we are at war with the evil, infidel, whore-mongering, imperialist, Muslim-bashing, Palestinian-oppressing country of America, but we love a good race, too, you know," the spokesman said. "We enjoy all automobile racing but we especially love the bumper-to-the-bumper thrills of the NASCAR. So we will try to enter a car next season." NASCAR officials were unavailable for comment.

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