Dreissana was my deceptive pet zebra mussel. Little did I know that I was her pawn.
An exotic petite mollusk from the Caspian Sea, Dreissana told me she feared being turned into buttons by babushkas and risked her life to escape. Clinging to an anchor, she endured a transoceanic voyage and made her way through the St. Lawrence Seaway until she arrived at Lake Walloonatic. This is where I met her, taught her English and cared for her. I was such a big ninny. Dreissana, who I later found was nothing more that a PCB-filled cockroach of the sea, set out to invade and destroy the water life of my dear Walloonatic. A cruel whimsical water war was waged. Unneuterable, her undesirable crustacean forces (who had been lurking in the background all along) had bunny-like orgies on the backs of defeated freshwater clams to celebrate their biologically devastating victories. How crude. I"ve heard that her generational footsoldier offspring have even made their way to the water habitat of Lake Wawaseeyourunderpants.