In keeping with the spirit of Holiday Season, here are some gifts that, if we had the power, would be placed beneath the ornament-weighted Christmas trees belonging to some of our preferred sports personalities.
As you'll see, some can't actually be put under a tree, but, well, you get the idea:
CHRIS HENRY: Peace. The former Cincinnati Bengals receiver shoehorned plenty into his 26 years. A good portion of it was bad: driving under the influence, marijuana possession, suspensions, untimely injuries.
And there were the domestic issues, the last of which ended Henry's life last week, one day after suffering serious injuries after falling from the back of a truck driven by his fiancee.
Very sad and further proof that more often than not, marvelous athletic talent in time loses the battle against being an exceptionally troubled human being.
TIGER WOODS: Some serious mentoring. Infidelity poster child Michael Jordan is rumored to be a close friend of Woods, but right now the golfer needs a superior class of human being to look up to. At the rate things are going, everyone short of Joan Rivers will have claimed to have been romantically linked to Woods by this time next week.
Now there's a visual. Here's a better one: Woods constructing a circle of positive role models around him in order to assist in repairing the leaks in his punctured reputation.
BILL BELICHICK: A personality with a sense of humor thrown in as a stocking-stuffer. The New England coach is never seen smiling, probably the result of a too-tight hoodie. Is there a more-unlikable human being in professional sports right now? Besides Woods, I mean.
DICK VITALE: A vacation. It's only December and I'm already tired of him. Seeing Vitale on my television screen this spring is going to give whole new meaning to March Madness.
MARK MANGINO: A keg of Slim-Fast and directions to the nearest health club. It's rumored the former Kansas football coach is pushing four bills. Mangino best opt for a healthier lifestyle and fast before it's daisies he's pushing.
THE INDIANA PACERS: A healthy Danny Granger.
TOM CREAN: Patience. His Indiana men's basketball program is showing glimpses of the future, particularly freshmen like guard Maurice Creek and forward Christian Watford. Realistically, though, the Hoosiers' return to the top 25 and serious Big Ten title contention is two winters away.
LEE CORSO: Improved health. It's obvious Corso isn't the old Corso following a minor stroke suffered last May, and those College Gameday broadcasts this football season weren't nearly as good as a result.
IOWA BASKETBALL: Some fans. Carver-Hawkeye Arena used to be a happening place in the days of former coaches George Raveling and Dr. Tom Davis. Saturday's home game against Drake looked as though someone had phoned in a bomb threat 30 minutes before as the 15,000-seat structure was woefully empty.
DREW BREES: The Most Valuable Player Award. Brett Favre is great, Peyton Manning the best quarterback in NFL history. But without Brees, his leadership and pinpoint passing, the New Orleans Saints are a gold-and-black version of the Carolina Panthers.