Jim Williams

by Rocky the Diabolical Catâ„¢ J. and I were relaxing in our seats at Key Cinemas, waiting for The Take, a film about workers' responses to the Argentinian fiscal meltdown of 2001, to begin.

"Thank you for getting me out of the house, J. Although I still consider you a Fool, this is a nice gesture on your part," I said.

"Did you see that woman I paid at the concession stand, the younger one with the brown hair? I have had a crush on her for a couple of years, but I have never said anything to her. She doesn't work here that much. But she's so fine!" J. exclaimed.

"Just like Evangelina," I said sadly.

"How are you with that situation?" J. asked.

"Uggo," I replied.

"Uggo? What's uggo?" he inquired.

"It's like a cross between sadness and disappointment; or maybe a frowning-emoticon put into a word; or perhaps just a word that expresses a cat's inescapable tragic fate in this world," I explained.

"I am indeed heartbroken about my dear Evangelina having dumped me, tis true," I continued, "but life goes on. I must fly to Italy next week to put the finishing touches on my book Feline, All Too Feline. I have much to do before I leave. And I still haven't gotten my replacement pussport yet!"

"What's a pussport?" he asked.

"It is like a passport, but for cats."

"And you lost yours? When?"

"Last week, apparently."

"Wow, Rocky, you lost both your girlfriend Evangelina and your pussport in the same week! What are the odds of that!?!" he exclaimed.

"Uggo," I sighed.