From the Logbook of Bad Boy Starling

[this story is satire] (The latest in a continuing series of reports fi

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[this story is satire] (The latest in a continuing series of reports filed by the revered local fugitive bird.)9 a.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window and peeped in. Mayor reading local newspaper with headline regarding property tax increase windfall for city. Rubs hands together and says, “Mmmmhahahahahaha!!!!!” 9:25 a.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window and peeped in. Sebastian Cabot lookalike feeding jelly beans to mayor.

10 a.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window. Sebastian Cabot lookalike announces visitor. Owner of Colts then enters. Peterson shows owner of Colts newspaper headline regarding tax windfall. Owner says, “Mmmmhahahahahaha!!!!” Peterson says, “Yes, that’s how we’ll pay you to stay here!” They high-five each other, then dance the mazurka at breakneck speed.

12 p.m. Took lunch break. Read correspondence.

1 p.m. Pooped on Cadillac Escalade. Owner leaned out window and cursed at me. Pooped on him, too.

2 p.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window and peeped in. Mayor practicing “looking sincere,” coached by Sebastian Cabot lookalike.

2:30 p.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window and peeped in. Contingent of homeless people arrive. Peterson gives each an apple and sends them on their way.

3 p.m.: Flew by Mayor Peterson’s office window and peeped in. Sebastian Cabot lookalike brings in latest issue of NUVO. Mayor turns red and stamps feet. Sebastian Cabot lookalike gives him animal crackers, and he calms down.

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