Given the media's focus on the current crisis in the Middle East, a recent meeting of heads of state from around the planet was largely overlooked. These leaders, representing over 70 countries, convened in Brussels for a top secret, strategic planning session. Their mission: change the name of our planet from Earth to Oilth. Ministers from OPEC were the initial progenitors of the call for action. Quietly, through diplomatic channels, they began as far back as 2001 to spread the notion of name-change. Other countries, especially France, were resistant to the idea, but at the summit last weekend, members of the coalition voted unanimously for the idea. The U.S. sent their top energy envoy, Hal I. Burton, to the proceedings. He released this statement on Monday: "The Bush Administration fully backs the altering of the moniker for Earth, as an indication of our belief that full disclosure is the best way to run a government. Though the name "Earth" has long served us well, we believe a change is necessary. After all, the first three letters of the old name are "ear," which really has no meaning. However, the planet being called Oilth carries enormous significance, and will lead us down the path to embracing our harmonic relationship with fossil fuels." Public relations companies from around the world hailed the decision. Dale Frumpkin, head of Frumpkin, Bumpkin & Nod Marketing, said, "The design options are unlimited. And think of the medium-message interface of this. It"s a concept filled with deliverables." No firm has been hired to create logos and a marketing strategy for "Oilth," but word has it that a company with close ties to the U.S. will get the first nod. A worldwide referendum on the name-change will be held sometime next month, unless the strategists forget.