Ol' Zass and the Flea

[this is satire]

by Rocky the Diabolical Catâ„¢

Lockjaw Jones came by the other night. After politely declining a double espresso, he pulled a bottle of Boone's Farm from his pocket, took a long country drink and told the following story: "Ol' Zass went down t' th' diner on Main Street ov'r thar in his town th' other day t' have some lunch. He sat up at th' counter, like he always do, an' ordered an egg san'wich, like he always do, an' a coffee, black, like he always do. Ol' Zass has got th' sugar*, so he watches what he eats, as they sez. While he wuz waitin' fer his coffee he looked up at th' t-v behind th' counter an' what do you know, thar wuz that sonofabitch George Bush a-grinnin' like a pidgin that's done pooped on a Cadillac."

Lockjaw's jaw locked up, and there was a pause. Then he continued:

"Two o' them corporatistical farmers, them ones that done been to college an' has them he-uge farms with all them thar machines an' so forth, came in th' diner an' sat next t' Ol' Zass. Ol' Zass didn't like them cuz they wuz not really farmers, they wuz more bizness managers, if you know what I'm gittin' at. Ol' Zass moved his stool a bit away from 'em, sendin' em a signal, if you will."

Lockjaw's jaw locked up, and there was a pause. Then he continued:

"One o' them corporatistical farmers looked up at th' t-v an' said, 'Look how heroical that thar George W. is! He reminds me of a big German Shephard, guardin' our blest homeland agin them terrorists!'

"The other one smiled an' said, 'He is heroical! He reminds me of a big Rottweiler, protectin' us agin them ayatollahs, sheiks an' th' rest o' them A-rabs!'

"Ol' Zass turned t' them an' said, 'That George Bush is about as heroical as a flea goin' fer a joyride on th' tail of a weenie-dog!'"

* Diabetes. - the eds.

0
0
0
0
0

Recommended for you