Thus Spake Saurau [this is satire] by Rocky the Diabolical Cat™

Lockjaw Jones dropped by my basement bachelor pad last night and related one of his tales to Ikey the Cat and me:

“Ol’ Zass and his crazy cuzzin Saurau came t’ Indunaplus last week t’ visit Ronnie th’ Rustbilly over’n Mars Hill. Now, that Saurau ain’t really crazy, he jus’ sez what comes into his brain, and that’s why people call him crazy. He sez such thangs like, ‘People ask me why I ain’t got no dogs over t’ my place, an’ I tell ’em, I ain’t got no dogs over t’ my place cuz I ain’t got no dogs over t’ my place.’ Point is, he sez weird soundin’ thangs, but they is always th’ truth.”

Lockjaw’s jaw locked up, and there was a pause. Then he continued:

“So them three wuz drivin’ in Ronnie’s car down Raymond Street over thar by Auto Zone. Ronnie’s car is one o’ them ol’ Ford Tempos, you know th’ kind, made up of a fender from this car, a bumper from that car, and doors from who knows how many cars. It’s like that ol’ Johnny Cash song ‘One Piece at a Time,’ if you know what I’m gettin’ at, ceptin’ Ronnie’s car is a hooptie. So Ronnie wuz drivin’, Ol’ Zass wuz in th’ seat nex’ t’ him philosophizin’ to hisself, and Saurau wuz in th’ back seat.”

Lockjaw's jaw locked up, and there was a pause. Then he continued: "A mini-van with one o' them big Mexican flags in th' back winder passed ’em fast. Now that Ronnie, he's a good feller but he's as prejudicialistical as th' crackerest of ’em all.

Th' mini-van passed real fast and Ronnie got mad and hit his fist on th' stairin' wheel and started a-cussin' and a-carryin' on at that van like a huntin' hound barkin' up a tree. Right then Saurau piped up loud from th' back seat, 'Damn! Them Mexicans drive almost as bad as us white people!'"

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