The mind of Theodore, Part 1

I received a text message from a certain Marie, who claimed to be an acquaintance of my dear friend Ms. O: Meet me tonight at 8 at The Abbey on Pennsylvania. I have something for you. I typed in response: How will I recognize you? Marie: I will be wearing a striped sweater. Say the first part of a line from a Godard film, and I will complete it.

I arrived at The Abbey and ordered a single. I took a sip and advised the barista to lower the pressurestat on his machine by 0.00005 bar, then looked for Marie.

I spotted a woman at a window table wearing a striped sweater. I approached her. She looked up from her magazine. I looked in her eyes and said, "It was my first night in Alphaville ... "

She replied, "Get away from me, you creep."

"Pardon, mademoiselle," I murmured, and slinked away.

In the rear of the cafe I spied another woman wearing a striped sweater. I braced myself with a slug of espresso, walked up to her and said, "It was my first night in Alphaville ..."

"... but it seemed to me that centuries had passed," she replied, and I took a seat.

"I was at Picasso's: An Urban Bistro the other night having a drink," she began. "That horrid Theodore the fascist was bartending. He stepped away 'to drain his snake' as he so elegantly put it. Out of curiosity, I glanced behind the bar. I spotted a spiral notebook. I immediately recognized its significance. I snatched it and calmly walked out. Here it is."

She handed me a common spiral notebook. On the cover was written in a large, faux-Teutonic script:

Property of Theodore von Trevlac

Top Secret!

I took the notebook and broke out in laughter. "Theodore von Trevlac?!?!? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Yeah, I know," Marie replied, "Theodore von Trevlac. Anyway, there's pages and pages of stuff in there that the Feline Front can use, I'm sure."

Next week: The Mind of Theodore, Part 2


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