Why was Jilberto killed by Balrog? Is Jilberto a Street Fighter II?

ohio just needs to slip that average-looking chick some captain and have his way with her like in that amp video!

He's got a little Captain in him alright!

I think that Ohio Jones bears a striking resemblence to the shady guy shoving cocktails down the throat of that hot NUVO reporter at AMP! Last I saw he was handing her some sort of tini. Has anyone seen her since that night? If she turns up missing; here's the clue: http://www.nuvo.net/video/23/

Very good piece of film. You and I have a lot in common. Us artists must stick together! What do you think about a collaboration between Young Einstein and Ohio Jones?

Boy I have been getting crap for years for making Gigli but now no one will call it the worst film ever again!

I almost forgot to write this review. "Ohio Jones and the Shadow of Time" screened for critics on a Friday morning and by Monday I'd forgotten that I'd seen it. Good thing I took notes. You don't need to. If you have 91 minutes to spare, you can watch "Ohio Jones and the Shadow of Time" and then just go ahead and forget about it on your own. To describe an airy psedo-French romantic comedy like "Ohio Jones and the Shadow of Time" as "forgettable" is not necessarily a pejorative. It's just a fact. The movie doesn't aspire to be anything but a lightweight pastiche that rehashes your memories of other, better movies. In this case, that means a gloss on "Wings of Desire," "Splash" and "It's a Wonderful Life," with fleeting, gratuitous allusions to "Forrest Gump" and "Pulp Fiction" tossed in for reasons you're probably not supposed to think about too much. "Ohio Jones and the Shadow of Time," as the title suggests, is an angel-out-of-water movie -- photographed in black and white, as befits its Ohioian setting. Ohio is a city of muted daytime colors; even its sunlight is tinged with gray, an effect cinematographer Thierry Arbogast captures beautifully in a cruise down the Seine that feels more like Ohio than Ohio, in that way that movies can sometimes distill the essence of a place. The film's one memorable visual involves a winged creature suspended in the air above the river, and its beauty comes mainly from it being in back and white. Color would have made it too literal, if you can use that word to describe an image. The primary character in "Ohio Jones and the Shadow of Time" is Ohio itself, but the movie also features a swarthy little Moroccan guy with perpetual stubble named Andre (popular French comedic actor Jamel Debbouze, of "Amelie" and "Indigenes") and a tall blond drink of water named Angela (Danish actress Rie Rasmussen from "Femme Fatale"). Andre has a gambling problem -- the alcoholism and drug addiction of the '00s -- and is about to throw himself off a not-terribly-formidable bridge into the Seine when he notices the not-so-angelic skinny platinum Amazon about to do the same thing -- as if to upstage him. They argue, he saves her (or she saves him) and they make it their respective missions to cure each other's personality flaws and self-esteem issues. And his debt problems. She's Mutt (5 feet 10 inches, fair and gangly), he's Jeff (5-5, dark and intense). She doesn't know who she is; he doesn't like who he is. Their character arcs intersect. Boy meet-cutes girl; boy alienates girl; boy gets (or grabs) girl. The End. Although director Ray Pawulich hasn't directed many films, he is a one-man movie factory, racking up more producer or executive producer credits at NUVO over the last 10 years than Jerry Bruckheimer (his American counterpart) or anyone who has ignored NUVO like everyone else has amassed since 1990. Like Bruckheimer's films, Pawulich's suggest balloons slathered in Vaseline: They are bloated, slick and empty and loud when they pop. Like the popcorn and syrup-infused fizzy-water they are designed to sell, these movies pass through your system without making much of an impression, though they can be vaguely pleasant in a not-particularly satisfying way while you are consuming them. And that's fine. But was your last $10 Diet Coke all that memorable for the price? On the other hand, perhaps you want to not experience an interlude in your life that you won't have to remember. In which case, you can slip yourself a mickey. Or watch this.

This movie could be the next Ishtar!

man, that chicks kinda hot for an average looking chick. ohio should have boned her on that log. is he gay? is that the next plot twist? 420 man! tell her she can smoke my joint anytime if you know what I mean!

I have always loved the theatre. Since the days of my first big screen appearance in 1930, through the 61 award nominations 35 wins (including 2 Oscars) and even until I pushed out of the presidency of the National Thatre Company I have always had a passion for the stage. And so it is with heavy heart that I must, out of respect for acting, retire and vow never to act again. The performances in this film are an insult to all of the actors, producers, directors...etc who worked so hard for so many years to bring entertainment to the masses. Perhaps the only greater offense is to the asian children who had to scrape by on $0.10/hr to make the camera and editing equipment which has been put to such haphazard use. It is as if the filmaker reached out and raped the entire film industry as well as the consumer electronics workers in one swift motion. You have single handedly set back the progress of mankind. I pray to God that the world recovers.

What a brilliant performance. The acting chops of the young man playing Ohio have been proven once again. I propose a new title to this piece of cinamatic genius: Everyone Else in the Shadow of Ray.

Jilberto was a damn pansy! Quit yer whinin, OHiO!

Quit clogging up the pipes of the interweb with your crap.