Bush drug plan has catch
by Roscoe Steed
The new drug plan devised by the Bush Administration to help low income and senior citizens afford the stratospheric cost of prescription medicines while enabling drug companies to make ever larger profits hit a speed bump this week. It turns out that the money people save on medicines will be deducted from their food stamp allowances. “Yep,” said administration spokesperson Bolt Waller. “They save money on their pills. So they don’t need food stamps. It’s a win-win.” But even the best laid plans can go awry. While the idea of letting people substitute life-giving drugs for food sounds not only like a good idea in itself, but like a breakthrough in the war against American obesity, certain “critics” have pointed out a slight catch. Most drugs have to be taken “with food” or “after eating.” Since the Bush Administration’s new policy will enable people to go without food in favor of their favorite medications, those medications
could be rendered ineffective.
This, admitted spokesperson Waller, could cause a lose-lose situation. That is, people will starve — and their medicines won’t work the way they are supposed to. “There’s a lot of quills in that porcupine,” said Waller, adding, “and we want our fellow Americans to own every one of them.”
