INDY'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE NEWSPAPER HIGHLIGHTING ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT AND SOCIAL JUSTICE

18 things you should NOT do WHAB

Editors note: Aw hell. We’re tired of writing editors notes. And we’re tired of worrying if there’s supposed to be an apostrophe in the word “editors.” We’re tired, period.

• Engage in sexual intercourse; apparently this is considered quite rude

• Volunteer to teach Sunday school class at your local church

• Chop wood

• Any type of welding

• Perform a circumcision

• Ballroom dancing

• Interview for a job

• Jury duty

• Introduce an AA speaker

• Be a school-crossing guard

• Golden Gloves boxing

• Full-immersion baptism

• Mountaineering

• Juggling

• Change a baby’s befouled diapers

• Attempt to assassinate a famous radio producer

• Bungee jumping

• Explain to your family that you don’t have a drinking problem