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George W. Bush announced invasion plans for Switzerland during his weekly radio address to the nation. The campaign is tentatively named Operation Heidi Heave-Ho.

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8/14/03: Solidarity Books got raided tonight. I guess the police couldn’t get a search warrant, so they used the old tried-and-true Indianapolis health department/fire department routine to get into the house. Of course nothing was found. An embarrassment to this city! And expensive too! Bad Boy Starling and I were hanging out in the side yard when it all happened. Nobody saw us, but we saw everything that happened. Cats and birds see all that happens in the world.

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(No. 2 in a continuing series of good ideas and encouragements to help make this a better Indianapolis!)

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Brian and Jeff, two 30-ish members of the National Socialist Movement, are on their way to Indianapolis for their rally. They are driving in Jeff’s Pinto wagon that is mounted on a monster truck frame with five-foot-tall tires.

Overclocking: Stretching your technology to run at speeds beyond what the makers intended.

They look like they’re camped out in the future. Dozens of video game enthusiasts at Midnight Massacre in Net Heads, perched at consoles with room for one, two, even four players at each terminal. Fantastic swirling architecture and twisted cables soar into the ceiling, with overhead speakers that can barely be heard four feet away, but bring every crash and boom in full stereo to those right below them. Dozens of gamers on the hunt all night long, hooked in, fired up and prowling head-to-head through their interactive, alternate universes.

5 stars

After a highly acclaimed debut last year with the Gun Fu one-shot, hip-hop talking, fast-shooting supercop, Cheng Bo Sen is back and heading into the jungles in the four-issue series Gun Fu: The Lost City. The first issue is in comic shops now. It’s written and inked by Indianapolis’ own Howard Shum and pencilled by Joey Mason.

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George W. Bush, John Ashcroft and 18 other politicians have signed a contract for a new reality TV show.

The show, Survivor Recession, will be filmed in Indianapolis. The contestants will work at an unskilled job and survive solely on that income.

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On a recent sunny day my friend Heike, who was raised in East Berlin, and I went to a downtown military park to picnic.

“So, is this the famous Military Park I’ve read so much about?” she asked.

“No,” I replied, “this is just a military park.”

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From The People’s Republic of China comes this Christmas season’s greatest gag gift. Get ready to “lock and load” with the George W. Bush Navy flight suit action figure!

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It is a few days before the opening of the National Governors Association conference in Indianapolis. Two government agents sit talking in their standard-issue Taurus.