Good God she's a tall drink of water. Michigan State's Alyssa DeHaan is at least 12 feet taller than anyone else on the court. If no one has coined the term "Alyssa the Haan" yet, consider it copyrighted. She traverses the length of the court in three steps, and leaps into your heart in a solitary graceful bound. Tread softly, my sweet.
With five minutes to play in the first half, the combatants are gridlocked in a high-octane scoring frenzy at 12-12. The crowd has thinned out, presumably due to the dispersal of the eliminated teams' fan base, but mostly because of early bedtimes in heated anticipation of tomorrow's spring forward.
Perhaps I was unfair in my earlier jab at the ladies' ineffective offensive effort. Twenty minutes of real time and 4:53 of game time later, the score is 19-15 at halftime. A true Indiana barn-burner.
AH. "Quick Change" is BACK for another halftime performance, and it has been revealed by the public address announcer that they are from... not making this up...The Moscow Circus in Russia. I KNEW IT. Careful, basketball fans. This is how democracy ends...one subliminally infectious halftime show at a time.
There are eight minutes left, and the teams are playing like they mean it, at last. Alyssa The Haan, the apparent offspring of Gheorghe Muresan and Keira Knightly, has begun to stretch her limber, shadowy arms miles above the ruckus and drop the ball softly through the hoop, as if taking a drop on the golf course. Her kryptonite; a buxom bottom sharply dropped into the back of her knees-- The Illini have figured this out, and are making her legs buckle every time she comes down low. And with her unraveling...Illinois is pulling the Spartans apart at the seams of their chainmail skirts.
A prediction for the last 90 seconds: a series of Illinois free throws, and ensuing failed three point attempts by the Spartans.
And so it is.
Illinois, the 9th seeded team out of 11, after beating the conference's top seed Ohio State last night, has now upset the 5th seeded Spartans and will face the conference's historically elite team in Purdue.
Final Score:
Illini: 55
Spartans: 41
TERRORISTS: 1
FREEDOM: 0
