The Resignation of a Mastermind

The interviews were brimful of shared laughs, teary-eyed reminiscing, pats on the back, fine cigars with brandy, and rounded out with a few attacks on Hillary Clinton. Some postulate this is an early effort to manipulate the Democratic primaries, targeting Hillary and emboldening her at the same time. If she is, in his eyes, the weakest possible candidate, then he’ll try to make her look the strongest in the eyes of leftwing voters.

Why would Rove have any interest in future campaigns? Set to retire and finally spend some quality time with his loving wife, Darby, he’s got his eye on a 30-foot sailboat christened “The Buoy Genius”. He’ll live out his numbered days on the high sea, where the salty air will prime his delicate, milky skin for preservation. Much like Lenin’s Tomb, future generations of Neo-conservatives will flock in droves to bear witness to the former majesty of “MC Rove”.

Yes, he’s got one foot in the grave, and the other one’s poised to kick the bucket. Only double the euphemisms can describe how much he wants to die. Aside from Texas, there’s not much else keeping him here. He has all the power he ever aspired for, all the money he could ever want, and then there’s Darby. She’ll do things that would make a gangbang porn queen blush, or at least nod in collegial acknowledgment. As good as things are, he’s bored. Formaldehyde can’t begin coursing through his veins soon enough.

Sure, his negative comments over the weekend evoke memories of the 2004 election when John Kerry was targeted in an effort to draw attention away from Karl Rove’s then perceived strongest opponent, John Edwards. I, for one, think that’s just silly. This was relaxed, free expression one can expect from an exiting political strategist. But, before he does leave this world, just know he really doesn’t like Hillary Clinton, and the Democrats would be insane to nominate her!