Quarantine wall nears completion 

[this article is satire]

[this article is satire]

The 12-foot quarantine wall along Michigan Road north of 38th Street is nearing completion, according to local health officials. “On the property behind the wall an extraordinarily high level of the bacteria streptococcus Hoosierus vulgarus was found. This bacteria is, unfortunately, resistant to all known antibiotics. Therefore, the owner of the former St. Mauer property, her friends and her servants will be quarantined behind impenetrable walls to prevent them from infecting other residents of the city,” stated Dr. Adolphus Ruppick, infectious diseases liaison for Marion County. “Thank goodness!” said Latasha Hopkins, who lives a few blocks east of the contaminated site. “Hopefully our children we be able to go outside and play again someday soon.”

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