Local entrepreneur Paul Michaelicious unveiled a product yesterday at a local Dome Hepot store that he believes "will sell like hotcakes." Given the intense attention paid to terrorist threats, Michaelicious believes his new products will not only aid consumers, but the country as well.
Michaelicious stood before assembled reporters and hardware store dignitaries and displayed his idea: multicolored duct tape. "We"ve seen the grey and black, and I think there may even be a white form of the product, but here we have a variety of colors that reflect the Homeland Security"s terror-alert color gradation." Michaelicious presented the series of colored duct tape: green, blue, yellow, orange and red. "It has a two fold benefit, of course," he said, smiling. "When the government instructs you to use duct tape to repel various types of terrorist attacks, you can use the color that most reflects the level of seriousness of the threat. Secondly, this is an act of patriotism, as you"re showing the world that you are pertaining to the government"s system, as well as fighting back at the terrorism by protecting yourself." Michaelicious saved the best for last, as he revealed an American flag, made out of the red and blue duct tape, with white poster board serving as a background. "See?" he said. "You can go beyond the effort of sealing your house from germ warfare and get creative and show your true colors." Dome Hepot officials said that Michaelicious" duct tape series will be made available to customers immediately.