Movie stars sauntering along the famed Oscar red carpet are a thing of great spectacle. They appear to be acting out a fantasy life with this walk being the height of success, fame, beauty and glamour. After all, tuxedos and Harry Winston diamonds naturally make for an effectively mesmerizing display of ideality.
Well, it’s time for some humbling humbuggery. Personal trainers, a team of stylists, capped teeth, borrowed jewelry and clothes could make anybody look like a multimillion-a-flick diva … or not. Need we be reminded of Jennifer Lopez? And need I say J-Lo when it comes to big-time fashion faux pas at gala entertainment events? Affleck’s pink rock never ever really took old Bronx Jenny far from the block. High-style illusions at play on the Oscar red carpet can be glaringly spoiled by ill-fitting dresses, hemlines that puddle on the floor and actors who can’t kick their costumes for the elegant occasion. Comb your hair, take off the jeans, button the shirt, get your dress fitted and wear a tie. To fashion followers, the red carpet means open season. Young actresses dressing too old, old actresses dressing too young, and tuxedo mishaps with too-skinny ties or wide open shirts are a few of the fashion no-nos to look for. Can women walk in their heels? Will their strapless dresses get tugged up every three minutes? This is the real entertainment! Every time an actress mispronounces the name of the designer who made her dress, that’s icing on the cake! Watch out for actresses who say their gown is “vintage” so-and-so when it’s not old, or that their gown is “couture” when it may be just a staple from a high designer’s recent collection. Joan Rivers will catch this stuff and call it out. Her live red carpet fashion reports offer the best coverage on what’s covering the stars. One of her Fashion Police sidekicks, fashion expert Leon Hall, is super sharp when it comes to red carpet chic. A qualified critic, he’s quick and candid to point out fashion accidents, shrewdly explaining why a look didn’t work. And, he’s equally quick to compliment and comment on the fashion winners. Hands down, he’s the best fashion critic on TV. Catch Joan, Leon and company on the E! Network for a live and post-show 76th Academy Awards red carpet fashion report Feb. 29 starting at 6 p.m. Rivers’ Academy Awards Fashion Police studio show, the better of her fashion reports, will follow on Monday, March 1 at 10 p.m.