[this is satire]
Recently, Indiana’s U.S. Rep. Mark Souder proposed that former President Ronald Reagan’s portrait be featured on the dime. This, of course, would require replacing — or at least alternating with — the existing dime’s image of Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Souder said that anointing Reagan on the dime was fitting because “If you take a couple of letters out of the word ‘president,’ then add an ‘m,’ you get the word ‘dime.’” Predictably, the political right and political left have come out to support and decry the action, and the bill seems doomed to not proceed beyond the preliminary stages of conversation, debate and media coverage. A compromise move, however, is already in the works as another Indiana U.S. representative, Dale Nuance, has proposed that all parties are assuaged by the creation of a new increment of coinage. “That way,” he said at a press conference yesterday, “both FDR advocates and Reagan supporters get to win.” Nuance, a Republicrat, has offered a number of options for his plan. “We can go with a seven and a half cent coin with Reagan’s face — or, we could do a 17 and a half cent coin. After all, look at the gap between the dime and the quarter. Fifteen cents! It’s an under-served increment.” Nuance claims his strategy will be “a win-win one. Why choose when you can have both?” When questioned about the efficacy of adding a new currency to the existing choices, Nuance told reporters that “I’m all for more choices. Hey, when you have a conflict, you compromise. Sometimes compromise means flipping a coin, sometimes it means creating one.”