The White House's embattled nominee, John Bolton, surprised both political parties this morning with a hastily-called press conference where he voluntarily withdrew his efforts to become ambassador to the U.N. Bolton, his voice hushed and occasionally broken, described the "downright embarrassment" he felt "what with everybody saying such terrible things about me."
He went on to say that while he knew he "had an aggressive style, I had no idea that people, well, that they didn't like me. It hurts like hell, and rather than try and ignore the complaints, I've decided to quit politics and maybe go into therapy or something."
He added that he would have preferred giving the "standard line about quitting to spend time with my family, but the truth is, they don't much like me either."
President Bush is expected to announce a new nominee by the end of the day.