In a move some say is straight out of a Greek play, millions of women throughout the country have decided to withhold sex from their male partners until, as detailed in the mission statement, "the dudes come to their senses." The group, known as the New Trojan Women, cite the war in Iraq, the suppression of science in the Bush Administration, the continuing obsession on fossil fuels and the failure of the Morning-After Pill to be made available over the counter as just a hint of a long list of grievances. New Trojan Women spokesperson Felicia Moonstuck said that "The truth is, women can go without men for a long time while men are actually weaselly little babyboys who won't last but a week. Plus, there's parthenogenesis to consider so I expect we can hold out a long, long time, perhaps forever on this one."
According to the NTW Web site, the movement began when "a drunk surly dude confronted a dancer after a performance at the Indianapolis Fringe Festival." Moonstuck told reporters that "the performance had been about the plight of women in a heartless, man-dominated world and the drunken lout told one of the dancers to 'quit complaining and quit men.' The dancer, enraged, stomped on the guy's foot but he didn't feel it because he was too drunk."
From there, the movement spread to the dancer's friends, then through what Moonstuck calls "the miracle of the Internet." The message was spread, culminating in a Web site, www.mennomore.ork.
One man stopped on the street admitted he had heard about the new movement among women, but maintained it would have little or no affect on him. "I'll be honest," he said. "Guys, for whatever else they say, can always go, like, temporarily gay with each other. I mean, a blowjob's a blowjob and my girl stopped doing that a long time ago."
Editor's Note: The New Trojan Women is not affiliated with any company that sells condoms