Next, Fort Wayne's Sankofa says, "As an Indiana resident, it was with joy that I discovered Mike Pence would no longer be our governor. That joy was tempered with the fear that he could actually become Vice President. As such, I made a song detailing his ineptitude."
The lyrics, in full:
The name is Mike Pence, you might have heard of me If your home is China, Israel, or even Germany The new philatelist, collecting stamps in passports Doing boss’ bidding, all that they ask for But it works out, Fred Klipsch is my cash drawer Looking for a blue collar worker I can gash more How about the 2 billion bucks I saved us? Let the roads crumble, don't look at your pay stubs How about the record meth busts my state got? Breaking Bad broke way worse and it stays hot Defunded Planned Parenthood, save the fetus! Next thing, an outbreak of HIV hits That was inconvenient, yep, a little awkward Let’s put a Band Aid on it and walk forward The Bible's got a lot of rules, no joke But I only follow ones that can get me the votes
P is for the poor that i couldn't care less for E is for expendable, I leave them at death's door NC's for Not Christian, though I pose as such Next E is for the emptiness, don't open me up
I hired some New Yorkers to try and fix my state's rep But I quit that, didn't want to send a paycheck Only spent 365 thousand on it Your fiscal conservative, counting in it Just like I’m counting on your votes to save us all Save us all from what? I don’t know, I’ll save us all I’m paying Paul by robbing Peter, monopoly leader If I’m Jay-Z, Glenda Ritz is Ether Either you’re with me to keep my throne shiny Or you’re out to get me and your base is tiny I’m scheduling meetings with Tony Bennett Yeah, the guy kicked out of two states, phony menace I'm on the campaign trail, posing with guns Bam bam boom bang look at me run!
P is for the poor that I couldn't care less for E is for expendable, I leave them at death’s door NC’s for Not Christian though I pose as such Next E is for the emptiness, don’t open me up
I got elected with less votes than Glenda Ritz But I squashed 1.3 million votes quick. My default expression...blank George W. Steadfast, don't let a lack of thought trouble you Have you seen the hearty head of hair I was blessed with? It could run for office by itself, it just did It ran on abortion guns and fear Made people vote against their own interests here I’m proud to be a radio host who chills with florists And Pizza Hut lawyers selling what is best for us Thank you Robert Behning, your arrangements are breathtaking Squeezing the life out of schools left gaping Plus David Long, I’m a fan of buffets Engorging on behalf of charters and vouchers, the lust stays And my Madonna, I’m praying to him, is Brian Bosma Keeping puppet legislators tied tight with drama On and on it goes, signing off with a note She’s just a librarian, don’t bother to vote
P is for the poor that I couldn't care less for E is for expendable, I leave them at death's door NC's for Not Christian, though I pose as such Next E is for the emptiness, don't open me up
This song was brought to you by the letters K, O, C, and H. Reminding you, it's not who you know, it's who you own, and there you go.
Got more Pence-themed music? Drop it in the comments.