Musical Mike Pence, two ways 

Tampons for Trump; Periods for Pence

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We've found two more Mike Pence, er, tribute tracks of sorts to present here for your listening pleasure after you're done listening to the Harry Cheese choir. 

First up, Jen Edds updates her Periods for Pence song with a hit of Tampons for Trump. She's back on the toilet ("Live in the Loo," she says) updating Trump on her special ladytimes. 


Next, Fort Wayne's Sankofa says, "As an Indiana resident, it was with joy that I discovered Mike Pence would no longer be our governor. That joy was tempered with the fear that he could actually become Vice President. As such, I made a song detailing his ineptitude." 



The lyrics, in full:

The name is Mike Pence, you might have heard of me
If your home is China, Israel, or even Germany
The new philatelist, collecting stamps in passports
Doing boss’ bidding, all that they ask for
But it works out, Fred Klipsch is my cash drawer
Looking for a blue collar worker I can gash more
How about the 2 billion bucks I saved us?
Let the roads crumble, don't look at your pay stubs
How about the record meth busts my state got?
Breaking Bad broke way worse and it stays hot
Defunded Planned Parenthood, save the fetus!
Next thing, an outbreak of HIV hits
That was inconvenient, yep, a little awkward
Let’s put a Band Aid on it and walk forward
The Bible's got a lot of rules, no joke
But I only follow ones that can get me the votes

P is for the poor that i couldn't care less for
E is for expendable, I leave them at death's door
NC's for Not Christian, though I pose as such
Next E is for the emptiness, don't open me up

I hired some New Yorkers to try and fix my state's rep
But I quit that, didn't want to send a paycheck
Only spent 365 thousand on it
Your fiscal conservative, counting in it
Just like I’m counting on your votes to save us all
Save us all from what? I don’t know, I’ll save us all
I’m paying Paul by robbing Peter, monopoly leader
If I’m Jay-Z, Glenda Ritz is Ether
Either you’re with me to keep my throne shiny
Or you’re out to get me and your base is tiny
I’m scheduling meetings with Tony Bennett
Yeah, the guy kicked out of two states, phony menace
I'm on the campaign trail, posing with guns
Bam bam boom bang look at me run!

P is for the poor that I couldn't care less for
E is for expendable, I leave them at death’s door
NC’s for Not Christian though I pose as such
Next E is for the emptiness, don’t open me up

I got elected with less votes than Glenda Ritz
But I squashed 1.3 million votes quick.
My default expression...blank George W.
Steadfast, don't let a lack of thought trouble you
Have you seen the hearty head of hair I was blessed with?
It could run for office by itself, it just did
It ran on abortion guns and fear
Made people vote against their own interests here
I’m proud to be a radio host who chills with florists
And Pizza Hut lawyers selling what is best for us
Thank you Robert Behning, your arrangements are breathtaking
Squeezing the life out of schools left gaping
Plus David Long, I’m a fan of buffets
Engorging on behalf of charters and vouchers, the lust stays
And my Madonna, I’m praying to him, is Brian Bosma
Keeping puppet legislators tied tight with drama
On and on it goes, signing off with a note
She’s just a librarian, don’t bother to vote

P is for the poor that I couldn't care less for
E is for expendable, I leave them at death's door
NC's for Not Christian, though I pose as such
Next E is for the emptiness, don't open me up

This song was brought to you by the letters K, O, C, and H.
Reminding you, it's not who you know, it's who you own, and there you go.

Got more Pence-themed music? Drop it in the comments. 

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Katherine Coplen

Katherine Coplen

Bio:
Always looking for my new favorite band. Always listening to my old ones, too. Always baking cakes. Always collecting rock and roll dad quotes.

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