This Week's PANIQuestions (Answers below):
1. What did researchers at the University of Bremen recently report regarding Arctic sea ice cover?
a. It's the lowest level on record.
b. Arctic sea ice reports are a cash cow for researchers.
c. Everyone has stopped paying attention.
d. It's the highest level on record.
e. It's replete with flame retardants.
2. What is causing the mass starvation of turtles and dugongs on the Great Barrier Reef?
a. They have resolved to stop eating each other.
b. Oil and petroleum spills.
c. The loss of pteropods to feast upon.
d. The loss of sea grass to feast upon.
e. It's an act of civil disobedience.
3. What are the "clean jeans" on display in Sheffield purported to do, via nanotechnology?
a. Make your butt look perfectly proportioned.
b. Hide your woodies.
c. Provide clean oxygen.
d. Break down pollutants.
e. Protect your wallet.
4. What is the White House under pressure to release from the EPA?
a. The "phthalates of phtha" list.
b. The "crap of concern" list.
c. The "toxins of terror" list.
d. The "chemicals of concern" list.
e. The "pollutants of panic" list.
5. What did state regulators do to four gas and drilling companies responsible for over 350 spills since January 2010?
a. Gave them "Outstanding Operators" awards.
b. Gave them "Offending Operators" awards.
c. Fined them.
d. Revoked their licenses.
e. Gave them "Inept Operators" awards.
6. What have coal companies done for John Boehner this year?
a. Sucked his Boehner.
b. Nothing -- and he's mad about it!
c. Contributed $1.5 million.
d. Gotten him lots of prostitutes.
e. Made his life miserable.
7. Why did Norwegian physicist and Nobel laureate Ivar Giaever quit a US physics society?
a. No one could pronounce his name.
b. The lack of dancing girls.
c. He doesn't believe in global warming.
d. He doesn't believe in physics.
e. They wouldn't park his car for him.