Free Book, "Humoring the Horror of the Converging Emergencies"
This Week's PANIQuestions (Answers below):
1. What are Stanford scientists saying about upcoming summers?
a. Summer blockbusters will be reduced to sequels of sequels of...
b. They will become more like winters.
c. The babes will get hotter and hotter.
d. They will be permanently hotter.
e. They won't experience them; they'll be trapped in their stupid
2. Why are Parlimentarians in Australia giving Czech President Vaclav
Klaus the cold shoulder?
a. Otherwise, his shoulders would burn up.
b. He eats kangaroos for breakfast.
c. They are stuck up down under.
d. He doesn't like beer.
e. He's a climate change skeptic.
3. What did a study of Danes and their sperm reveal?
a. Their sperm has grown heads and tails.
b. Sperm quality has declined.
c. Danes don't have sperm.
d. Sperm quality has not declined.
e. Danes keep their sperm to themselves.
4. Why were Australia's leading climate scientists moved to a secure
a. Climate scientists are, by nature, insecure.
b. Death threats
c. To have a meeting without interruption.
d. Because the climate is better there.
e. HD computer monitors.
5. Why is the EPA banning the sale of some rodent poisons?
a. The EPA wants rats to take over the planet.
b. To benefit the burgeoning rat-trap industry.
c. There is no credible reason; they are trolling for press.
d. It harms children and pets.
e. Rat lobbyists hold great sway over the government.
6. What did former Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt call Obama out on?
a. The frequency of him saying "Having said that."
b. Too much action on the environment.
c. Not withdrawing from Afghanistan fast enough.
d. His lame-ass jumpshot.
e. Lack of action on the environment.
7. Why was the antibiotic Augmentin pulled from hospitals in Taipei?
a. Researchers found E. coli in it.
b. Researchers found razor blades in it.
c. Researchers found nothing in it.
d. Researchers found MRSA in it.
e. Researchers found a banned chemical in it.
8. What unexpected invasion might be expected from the flooding
a. Asian carp in "formerly virgin areas"
b. Donjuanus Casanovii in "formerly virgin areas."
c. Bullfrogs in "formerly frogless cowfields."
d. Spotted Kestrels in "formerly waterless bogs."
e. S's and P's into "Misisipi."