According to the announcement, Dick Cheney will be dressed as Darth Vader while John Edwards will don the costume of Luke Skywalker. The traditional “debate” format will be suspended in lieu of the men wielding lightsabers on stage.
Edwards, who was campaigning in Ohio, issued the following statement: “It is exciting to me that the debates between myself and the vice president will be staged within a narrative context. We are living in a time of fractious polarization, and the format they’ve offered provides entertainment as well as an opportunity to come together in the shared quest to bring hope to America. “Besides,” he added, “I bet I can whoop him good with the saber.”
Dick Cheney, when reached for comment, decided to simply breathe hard into the phone, à la Vader’s trademark inhalation/exhalation.
George Lucas, the creator of the characters, could not be reached, but said through a spokesperson that “This should prove to be a dramatic event. The Democrats and Republicans are battling for the hearts and souls of the constituency. By positing these two particular characters in battle, a predictable outcome will happen: It will be discovered that Dick Cheney is actually John Edwards’ father.”
A schedule of debates has not, at press time, been set.