The Antacid Shoppe, located on the city"s Southwestside, has announced a new home delivery service. "In light of the ever-increasing size of antacid packaging - now you can buy bottles with hundreds of the little chalky stomach-calming thingies in them - we will now be offering an antacid delivery service utilizing a dump truck. The dump truck can deliver up to 1,000 pounds of antacids to your residence," owner Bob Flux stated. "It is best if we dump them in a dry place like the customer"s garage, of course."
Flux also stated that The Antacid Shoppe will be glad to shovel the pastel-colored lozenges down existing coal chutes in older homes at no extra charge.