Oderus Urungus, lynchpin of intergalactic metal mavens GWAR, states the truth: "When you're GWAR, outrageous things tend to follow you around."
So it's been for 25 years now, since one of the few openly extraterrestrial bands on earth was thawed from its Antarctic prison by the hairsprayed excesses of '80s metal.
"You don't really have to try to top stuff; the way we live our lives seems to lend itself to public spectacle," Urungus says of each GWAR tour. "It might not be so easy if there wasn't an intergalactic war fleet following us from gig to gig, attacking us on stage and trying to homogenize and slaughter our followers, but there is. And we have to defend these people against these fucking cybernetic assholes. When this shit goes down, all we can do is break stuff and hope for the best."
As the story goes, the mutants comprising GWAR originated from an ancient order of warriors known as the Scumdogs of the Universe. But their ruler, The Master, banished them to Earth for an array of cosmic crimes. Here they proceeded to fornicate with apes, thus creating the human species. It was an unforgivable action in the eyes of The Master, who imprisoned them in the gelid depths of Antarctica for billions of years. Only when fellow intergalactic fugitive Sleazy P. Martini stumbled across their dungeon did they resurrect in the form of an indestructible metal act named GWAR.
"It's an alluring tool," Urungus says of their music. "It draws the human in so not nicely and leads them to their doom. Though we've employed manacles and axes and swords and catapults, I'd have to say by far heavy metal itself is the most lethal weapon we have ever wielded."
A hatred for all of humanity is what still fuels GWAR.
"What's really disgusting about it is I actually have to kind of ally with humans to defend the planet against Cardinal Sin," Urungus says of one of their celestial enemies, a leader of robotic holy warriors. "The fact that I have to put off your destruction for even a minute causes me considerable pain. But there's only one way to defeat Cardinal Sin, and that's by having humans fight with GWAR against him."
In fact it just so happens that Cardinal Sin's war fleet will arrive in Indianapolis the same time as GWAR.
"There's going to be a big showdown, so get down there and bring a pipe or an ax or a gun, cos you're going to be expected to fight for the survival of the human race," Urungus says. "There's a little more at stake here than just the regular ole GWAR show."
It's been a quarter-century now since GWAR waged war on, as they named one of their albums, this toilet earth.
"We're just getting started," Urungus says. "A lot of people are like, 'Oh that's so long.' But they forget we're undying overlords from outer space; 25 years is like half of a gnat's eyeball blink, if gnats even have eyeballs, which I don't think they do. If we have to write 500 albums to fully dominate this planet, then that's what we'll have to do. And each one will be better than the one that came before it."